VOLLEYBALL BLOG

Let me tell you a story from my 20-year high school reunion - I promise it's relevant, I'll get right to the reason why as soon as I finish. I ran into a female classmate that I hadn't seen since we left. We had spent 12 years of schooling together, and she was the athlete of my class. She was good at every sport she played, was a hard worker, and incredibly nice to everyone on top of that. If you asked her, she would have told you I was more mathlete than athlete. 5'5", 95 pounds, size 12 shoe going into high school. People looked at me to help them with their upcoming quiz, not as a strong teammate on the field or court. Something we didn't realize was we had the same teacher as our coach at high school - they coached her in basketball and me in volleyball. And that night, we shared all the horror stories of how he treated us - the name-calling, bullying, destroying of our confidence even though years later we realized he had no background in either sport and had no validation in the things he made us feel about ourselves. Both of us walked away from youth sports feeling pretty down about ourselves. 18 months after graduating high school, and I got lucky enough to have volleyball come back into my life, along with a mentor that began to show me what I could be vs. what I wasn't. That translated into a collegiate playing career, coaching career, semi-pro beach career, with a peak of winning the Midwest Beach Championships 10 years after thinking I'd never play again. It's taken me to 39 states and twice across international lines. It introduced me to my soulmate and many of the people that will populate our wedding one day. And I almost missed out on all of it because I had a coach that didn't know what I needed. Sadly, I learned that the coach destroyed Erin's love for the game and she never played again. And she regained her confidence, is happily married with a beautiful family, and she's still a badass athlete, so she's doing OK. But I can't help but wonder how many youth sports athletes leave their sport feeling worse about who they are because of coaches like ours? I'm not telling you every coach is as toxic as ours. I am telling you the only requirement to be a club coach nowadays is to take a 3-hour certification that is mostly about liability. I'm telling you many programs will not be able to tell you who your coach will be not because they're "still figuring out who's coaching who", but because they're taking more checks than they have coaches. You'll see many of the programs that have been promoting their tryouts since May begin to talk about how they're looking for coaches in September-November. And to me, that is incredibly backwards - especially given what they're demanding you commit before high school tryouts take place. I know there are not many programs that can guarantee you what you're signing. I do believe most programs will take those same kids in November, and I believe if they don't, then you probably dodged a bullet, and that bullet comes in the form of a poor developmental experience. Youth sports is a 37 billion dollar a year and rising industry. Parents - you are not the customer, you are the product. And I say that simply because I see how many of you are sacrificing so much time and money, and how much of your kid's childhood is being spent in these gyms, and I believe if you're paying a premium price, you deserve a premium service. And so many of you are getting an experience much lesser than what's being advertised. If a program expects you to sign/do a down payment in July, they should be able to commit the quality of coach you'll receive. You should be able at minimum to narrow it down to 2-3 coaches, and they should be able to give you an overview of their background (Frankly, I think programs should be trying out for families vs. the other way around. In our program, families experience a one-time practice, parents watch, and if they like the quality of instruction, they're welcome to join our program. One of the many perks to beach doubles/not needing specific positional players). Too often we look at the success of the top teams of programs when discussing what makes a program "elite". Respectfully, I think that speaks more to a program's marketing/recruitment than their quality of instruction. An elite program is one that gives a similar opportunity for growth for their non 1's teams. I think of Strive in Maryland (A non-profit that has 3 coaches for each team! Special shout-out to Jenn and John), Gaston Galaxy in NC, Iowa Select in Iowa, The Edge and Aggression in Illinois, just to name a few. Tournaments shouldn't be the bar, but the measuring stick - and the focus shouldn't just be on fielding the best teams, it should be about developing the kids we have. Too many kids are leaving club with over-trained bodies, burnt out minds, and insecurity about their skills. This is your moment to demand more. Once that contract is signed/check clears, there's no turning back, so choose wisely! To conclude, I wish you luck this weekend as you look for a program. I hope you demand the same amount of commitment from your program that they're asking of you. I hope you have faith in the idea that you will not fall behind if you do not accept a contract in July because you cannot get transparency on what that contract provides. And I hope you settle for nothing less than a program that coaches for your kids, vs. your kids playing for them. There are always ways to stay in the sport outside the norm - sometimes, the best lesson youth sports teaches in 2024 is to take the road less traveled if the common path is not giving you the same opportunity as the peers you're trying to catch. Progression Volleyball runs 10-week sessions throughout the year / offers "Try-Us-Outs" for families that would like to evaluate our staff before making a commitment. We work with 11 and up athletes of all ages and levels. For those in the Chicagoland area, Fall Information can be found here and Winter Information can be found here .

To Amanda, Bella, Bri, Crystal, Ella, Halle, Jess, Kyla, Nicolette, Phoenix, Kyla, and Sarah, A quick story: Tuesday afternoon I found myself watching the Nebraska Beach Volleyball practice next to Jordan Larson. The girls had just finished some warm-up drills and Coach Reyes put them on three courts to scrimmage in preparation of their season opener that took place Thursday. The wind was causing chaos, but the girls were working hard, laughing and having a good time along the way. "Oh to be young again." Coach Larson said as she watched them scramble around their respective courts. Here's arguably one of the most successful athletes in the history of our sport. She's a 3-time Olympic medalist, including winning gold in 2020 while being named Most Valuable Player / Best Outside Hitter. She's literally lived countless athlete's childhood dream. And she's watching these girls flail around the sand and she's jealous of them . Has there ever been a better case for the quote "It's not the destination, it's the journey" by Ralph Waldo Emerson? By the end of the weekend, all thirteen of you will have completed your season opener for your college beach seasons. Some of you may win, some may lose, some may not get the opportunity they were hoping for. I remember many of you as high school kids, hopeful to one day have this very opportunity, but nervous/uncertain about what doors would open for you. You kept working. One day at a time. Thousands of reps. Social life sacrifices. Homework in the car to and from practice. That version of you would be so proud to see the young women you've all become. You've all come so far from where we've started - and you're truly just getting started, both as players and people. I hope that you find the lessons from the adversity. It's no different than it was as we trained. When we lose points, our opponents are giving us the opportunity to figure out how we need to adapt. When our teammates struggle, these are the moments that high fives and belief from peers carry more meaning. If we aren't in the role we want, I hope you have the courage to talk to your coach to ask about what you need to work on to earn the opportunity - and then I hope you do it. But my hope for you, above all else, is that you find the gratitude in the opportunity to be a part of it all. And I hope you can be present, and find the joys that come from being a college athlete. It'll go by faster than you think. I remember not always getting along with my college squad. None of those issues stick with me nowadays. I remember the good times. I miss the good times. And while I haven't yet hit 40, I've already lost my coach (who was only 29 at the time) and two of my teammates. As you get older, you start to realize where the real wins and losses lie. I hope you compete with everything you have, because you've earned the opportunity to be the best you can be this weekend - even if that's not your actual best. I hope you give yourself grace for the mistakes, because it's important to remember your 2021 gold medalist April Ross lost 46% of her plays the year she won the gold medal (I bet you thought you'd heard me say that for the last time, you'd be wrong!). Win or lose, I am so grateful that I've had a chance to part of your journey - whether we just met this winter or you've been in our sand for years. I see the very best in all of you. Your results will never change that. And I hope when you look in the mirror, you see the same thing I do. You deserve nothing less. I wish you all luck this weekend, I and the other coaches are rooting for you. We are always a message away if you need anything. Your Coach and Fan, Bryan

While top players are notified of their coach and teammates, newer athletes are expected to cut a check / sign a contract in July - only to wait until November/December to know what they paid for. We feel those athletes deserve better. When club tryouts moved from November to July, there were some pretty immediate repercussions. Every year since they've swapped to summer tryouts, I've gotten messages between Thanksgiving and Christmas from parents. They all come from various programs, but the story is always similar. "When we tried out in the summer they sold a lot of good things to us. But now that season has started . We don't want to stay, but they won't give our deposit back if we walk away. That is so unethical in our opinion. At Progression we strive to be transparent and provide equal opportunities to all our athletes. With that in mind, we'd love to give a brief breakdown of our 2023-24 Tryout Program . We will offer 4's for 11-14U (We believe 4's is a great way to teach young kids all the fundamentals - no more middles never getting to pass or backrow players never learning how to attack. We want our kids to have an all-around skill-set once they get to high school so they can be more versatile/have a better chance of making their teams) and 2's for 15-18U. We will accept the first 24 11-14U and 32 15-18U athletes that want to join. Our tryouts will be on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6-8pm starting 7/18. But here's the twist: You aren't trying out for us. We're trying out for you. We will run a 2-hour introductory practice for the athletes, and parents are welcome to stay and watch to see what they're paying for. Sessions will be ran by the same coaches your players will work with during camp. Immediately following play we will conduct an optional Q&A session to address any questions parents may have about our program/beach in general. The stigma of "you have to play club to play in college" is outdated. Clubs have continued to get bigger and bigger while we haven't adjusted the coaching education to meet the demand. How are rawer athletes supposed to catch the peers ahead of them if they're getting a lesser education? Focus has become more about bids and travel tournaments than the development that actually helps athletes become the best version of themselves of which they're capable. That's why we've created a system that ensures every athlete gets the 1's team treatment. All our coaches work with all our players. So whether you're a college-bound athlete or a player brand new to the sand, you're given the same mentors, learn the same systems, and are provided the same opportunity for growth. Don't take our word for it - click here to sign up and let us show you. July has become a very stressful time for parents and players as they're rushed to decide what to do next season weeks after the previous one concluded. Are you a parent or player that is struggling to navigate your youth sports journey? Contact us with your question/situation and we'll do our best to address as many topics as possible!

Youth sports is supposed to help young athletes build confidence in themselves. But as focus shifts from outcome to income, is it doing the opposite? TW: Suicide, Depression My father was the head coach of my 5th-8th grade basketball team. While I would adopt a lot of my coaching philosophy from people like John Wooden, Lou Holtz, Karch Kiraly and others, a lot of my foundation as a coach came from those four years playing under my dad. He let the team decide if the focus would be on winning or playing time (while making sure everyone would play at least a quarter no matter what). There was a big disparity in talent between the starters and non-starters, but he made sure everyone was respected regardless of their role. He challenged us to be our best while never making us feel like wins or losses defined us. I remember having a conversation with my dad as I began my coaching career. He said something that has stuck with me ever since: "You guys won a lot, but that wasn't the point. For most kids, youth sports is where they first experience failure. Teaching them how to work through that will ultimately help them in their relationships, education, and career." 25 years later, youth sports looks a lot different than it did back then. Youth sports is booming financially , but at what cost? A recent study shows teenage depressed doubled from 2010 to 2019 - and that was before the pandemic. Social media certainly has its role. Looking at the current state of youth sports, I cannot help but wonder if it's doing more harm than good. The Good Bad and Ugly of Youth Sports Nothing prepares you for when a parent calls you to tell you their child tried to take their own life. The pause felt like an eternity before they told me they didn't succeed - and then they asked me to go visit their child that evening in the ward. I didn't know what to expect when I walked in. When I walked into the community room they were in, their back was to me. When I tapped them on the shoulder, they bounded out of the chair and jumped into my arms. We ended up talking for about 90 minutes that night about a variety of topics, from volleyball, to the challenges of being a teenager in general, to specific things to their situation. I remember the first time a player told me about their own suicidal attempts years after I had coached them. I had no idea the burden they had carried - on the outside they were a beacon of joy towards myself and everyone on their team, and I would have thought that was one person who didn't battle depression. Those players' stories have had positive outcomes - but it doesn't always work that way. One of my former athletes did take their own life. They were an All-American whose smile is burned into my mind to this day. It just goes to show you never know what someone's going through. But looking at the above study, it's safe to say that many kids could use a self-esteem boost. I've never lost sight of the absurdity that my life is spent teaching people how to hit a ball over the net - or prevent it from hitting the ground on their side. But helping athletes see the best in themselves is the real reason I coach. I've always felt it was important that while I want to push my kids to be the best they could be, I would never resort to methods that would make them feel like they were lesser when they fell short of goals. Parents: If your child had a mental health episode, would their youth sports coach be an ally? Or would they be the cause? A few years ago, I had a 12 year old that was super sweet and very talented, but there were moments working on skills where would just freeze on the court. The rest of the kids were similar, so we sat in the sand to talk about it. I mentioned how we had been making mistakes, but there was no consequences. We were there to learn how to be successful, not to just immediately do the skills right. All I was asking was for them to give their best effort - so what held them back from that effort? They raised their hand and said "Coach, I hear what you're saying. But everyone else I play, when I make a mistake, I get yelled at, punished, or put on the sideline. And the worst part is, they don't tell me how to do it right. " One last story: One of my hardest-working kids was having a rough practice. On the surface, it just seemed like they weren't engaged in the drill. I was nudging them for a better effort, but this day they seemed completely disinterested. I was confused, so at the water break, I pulled them to the side and asked what was going on. They burst into tears, told me about how their friend took their own life, how they battled depression themselves and how upset they were that their school seemed more interested in sweeping the news under the rug than supporting help to the students. I immediately shifted my tone/focus for the rest of the practice, they had a better second half of practice, and I checked in on them a few times a day just to see how they were doing. I talked to their father a couple days later and they thanked me for the support. I think about how many kids go to practice carrying similar burdens. What happens when a coach just chews them out, punishes them, and makes them feel like a failure? Youth sports should be a place kids go to get a recharge from the challenges they face in their lives. But when the environment serves to do the opposite, how much does youth sports contribute to the mental health woes? Kids watch as the top teams in their organization get the best coaches and a better education, meanwhile they're left to feel like if they aren't viewed as providing value for their team, they don't get the same opportunities for growth. What is that teaching our kids? I recently read a book by Brene Brown where she talks about belonging vs. fitting in. I immediately thought about the current landscape of youth sports and felt that would be a good measurement of what makes a youth sports program truly successful. How many kids truly felt a sense of belonging in their programs, and how many were fitting in? Many kids are forced early to abandon sports they love because to play in high school, they're expected to play travel ball (and in some cases, travel sports won't even let their players participate for their high school). In our region, nationals ended last June and within a week, girls were back in the gym with tryout t-shirts for the next season. Many of them have parents that are forced to cut a check to lock in a spot for the next season, but they will not know their teammates or coach until November/December. In some cases they'll be told the team needs them to play a different position than they signed up for. If they do not like the situation that they're put in, they're left with the choice to lose their down payment (often hundreds and sometimes more) or to stick it out. From 15-18, if athletes play for their high school and compete in a nationals program for club, they will not get an off-season for four straight years. Aside from the rise in overuse injuries , these kids experience mental burnout. But they don't have a clear alternative if they want to make their high school team and possibly play in college (a carrot that's being dangled to parents by governing bodies, even though roughly 12 out of 13 high school athletes will not play a varsity sport in college . It doesn't have to be that way - but as long as people in power are looking at youth sports as a financial opportunity instead of a chance to build life skills in children (seriously - click that link and read the report outline. Tell me if anything there strikes me as viewing kids and their families as anything other than consumers), things will continue to be challenging. How Do We Improve Current Conditions? The challenge we face is, the power lies with parents' checkbooks. As long as they accept the current conditions, organizations have no incentive to change them. I also think parents are in a tough spot, because many governing bodies and 'expert' articles act as borderline propaganda keeping parents looking at youth sports as a return on investment/scholarship opportunity for college. I believe once the 93% of families that won't make it to the next level start realizing that maybe they need something different than the 'norm', programs will have to accommodate that. There are programs that are leading the charge for change - but we're having to build our audience from the ground up as our ideologies don't align with the bigger bodies in our industry. Many parents think "things have to be this way", but is it true? My friend runs a true not-for-profit club on the east coast. They're a smaller organization, but they have 3 coaches per team . Don't believe me? Here's their coaching staff page . Their prices are modest too compared to many clubs. So if an organization can sustain itself when the money truly goes back to the program, why are we accepting of when programs hire high school kids or coaches with no experience? Our program is beach, but I believe we've created a sweet spot for high-level development, flexibility of scheduling, and equal opportunity for growth from top-to-bottom: *Four 10-11 week sessions with three one-month pauses allow for athletes to take breaks, play other sports, or invest time into other hobbies. Youth sports should work around your life, not the other way around. *Cap of 8 kids per court to ensure everyone gets individual attention *Every group gets the same coaches, same system, and the same opportunity for growth. *In-house competition to give players game-like experience without having to pay for airfare/hotel/etc. But our college-track athletes do travel for competitive tournaments on their own accord. I believe many kids do get a good experience from their organizations - and if they have good coaches and teammates they get along with, that's great. But so many athletes "fit in". They know it's not a great situation, but it's what they have to do to keep up with their peers in their minds. Then when the system doesn't serve them, they feel that there's something wrong with them. This has been a problem I've been trying to address since I started Progression, and given the recent studies, it's as relevant as ever. Parents, players, coaches: I challenge you to make sure youth sports environments serve to help kids see the best of themselves/avoid contributing to these statistics. Youth sports done wrong can destroy a kid's self-worth. But by setting a higher bar for what a youth sports program should provide for kids, I truly think it can be one of the best tools to build it up. For anyone that's interested in joining the cause of making youth sports a better place for kid, you can reach Coach Bryan at Bryan@progressionvolleyball.com

Me on what appears to be my 7th birthday. Dreaming then, dreaming now! Last week I celebrated my 38th birthday. I know a lot of people dread getting older - I always look at it as 'making it' to the new year. Once my college coach passed away 15 years ago at the age of 29, my perspective on aging changed pretty drastically. A more important milestone this year is this fall will mark my 20th year of coaching. I feel grateful for the opportunity to do what I do for a living. On one hand, it seems silly to have your life revolve around a game where we hit a leather ball over the net. But I've always wanted to inspire others, and I'm lucky to have found a fun way to do it. 37 was a very uncomfortable year - but a lot of growth came from it. I had to completely re-format my program to adapt to the new club tryouts, and while we took it on the chin this summer, I feel we've created something special. I'm grateful to feel like I have the right staff in place to help me bring it on a larger scale to both Chicago and beyond. For a long time I've had to do so much hands-on work in the facility, I feel like I've done a terrible job of marketing/letting people know what we're doing. So: I'm getting outside my comfort zone here. I'm 'shooting my shot'. I'd like to talk about what I've been doing over the last two decades, where we're going, and if you feel this information may benefit people you know (parents/players/coaches), then I shamelessly ask you to share this. Because after trying to partner with organizations within our sport, I think it's clear that as long as what we're doing is focused on the families and not on the margins, we're going to have to build our audience on our own. I don't believe I'm the 'best' coach out there. But I think I'm as good as any volleyball coach. And I don't say that from a place of arrogance - coaches are thieves, and a lot of what I do came from learning from people that have been doing this a lot longer than I have. I have been lucky to work with some of the best players and coaches in the world. But this sport's giants are accessible to those that are willing to reach out. I think anyone can do what I do if they're willing to put the time in. And I've put the time in. I spent my first three years coaching for free learning under Bob Vilsoet at Harper. As far as I know, I'm the only college athlete that was also coaching college at the same time - I was working Lasell's sideline as an assistant in 2008, then months later walked into that same gym representing Newbury and thrashed their men's team, all while their girls cheered for their assistant coach. I remember how frustrated a few of their guys were to see their peers cheering on their opponent. As I approached graduation, I emailed every Division I coach in the country over the span of 2 weeks looking for GA/Assistant work. I proceeded to take a job at Mercer University in Macon Georgia. It was surreal to go from playing at a school that didn't have a gym to a 5,000 seat arena, a team lounge w/ a projector screen, and a training room that was bigger than our entire workout facility. I learned a lot about the game in the six years I coached college. I also saw a lot of things I didn't like. I'll detail those things in my book - all I'll say here is I quickly realized helping others get better/caring about who they are as people was why I coached. I didn't like the idea of using athletes as cogs in my machine at all costs to win games, so I came back home and started working a 9-to-5. Bless Nicole Snyder's heart for asking me to coach at her former middle school. It was a big shift from 6-footers to 6th-graders. But I loved working with those kids. As our season came close to an end, the school asked if I would coach their 7th grade team. I said I'd coach, but I wanted the 8th graders. I had ran a weekend camp for each grade, and when I met the 8th graders, I started the camp by asking each person what skill they wanted to improve on the most. Their answers broke my heart: They collectively told me that they weren't any good, and that their previous coaches had told them they sucked. They hadn't won a game for 3 years. But they reminded me a lot of my younger self. I spent my first 3 years playing volleyball with no idea what I was doing. I was short, big-footed, and my coach was a parent that had no background on the sport. On paper, we weren't very good at the sport. But the thing is, this is a sport that takes time. People don't peak into their 30's (and on the beach, sometimes their 40's). These kids just needed guidance. Youth sports is supposed to teach kids how to respond to failure, not feel like one. So I told the school my terms and they gave me the 8th grade team. We won one full match and a few other sets. But those girls improved so much. We had fun while we did it. We celebrated the good plays and learned from the bad plays - and there were many learning moments. But I don't think those girls could have asked much more of themselves, and I hope all these years later those young women are crushing their education/relationships/careers with confidence that if they love something, but they need to work to achieve whatever they want to achieve, they can do it if they're willing to put the work in. I spent the next few years coaching club, including working for one full-time. I coached everything from 18-1's to 15-7's (and my goodness, that 15-7's team was special. They'll get their own chapter in my book). Fast-forwarding, because I know this is getting long and I want to get to my point, I started to realize that perception and reality in youth sports are not aligned. And I think it was and is destroying kids, misleading parents, and burning out coaches. I've spent the last 8 years building Progression. It hasn't been easy. I spent over a quarter of a million dollars over 3 years to lease 2 sand courts, only to get undercut by the owner and a club director who I brought into the sand industry because he told me about how he used his indoor program in the suburbs to fund programming in the city to help lower-income kids (that was a lie, and I'm tired of tip-toeing around that person. I wish no ill-will on him or his program, but I'm tired of pretending like he wasn't/isn't a fraud. Our last conversation, he told me "don't give me a gold mine idea - I'll take it." Would have liked that transparency when he was telling me all about how it was about the kids years before). I was lucky enough to find an opportunity to build 2 courts of my own. I had no money, I had no credit, I had no collateral. But I had my reputation and a strong business plan, and through funding within the volleyball community, we built two state-of-the-art courts that I believe are the nicest two indoor beach courts you'll find (AVP Pro Ed Rateledge called it a "Slice of Hermosa Beach" - I'll take it!). It was about a year of uncertainty, a few months of chaotic building, and we were open. 6 months later, the pandemic hit. The biggest challenge wasn't navigating the pandemic - we put a plan in place that avoided a single positive case within our program the first 18 months we re-opened. The biggest challenge has been the way indoor programs have adjusted - which is to require athletes to commit to their program year-round. A lot of us in Chicago were shocked at how indoor programs with well over 100 kids in their beach program dwindled to the dozens as kids were in 'open gyms' from the moment Nationals ended to the official tryout dates. Tournament directors that were always filling up their events had to cancel many of them due to a lack of interest. Many of our athletes that usually train with us in the summer were given an ultimatum by their clubs: Try out and cut a check in July, or else you may not have a spot in November. Accepting the reality that kids in the area would no longer be able to juggle both, we created a new year-round calendar for our athletes that 2 sessions in is being very well-received: We have a fall session, winter session, spring session, and summer camp, with one-month pauses in February/May/August. Groups are capped at 16 (8 per court), and every group gets the exact same high-level coaches. I feel the measuring stick for a youth sports program is "How different does the training look for the newest team vs. the strongest team". One of the biggest perks to our beach program is I feel we can look a parent in the eye and guarantee them the same quality of education regardless of the level of their child. We play games in-house on the weekends to provide game experience without requiring parents to spend a lot on travel/hotel/etc. We have girls that play other sports that can actually play those other sports. We have girls that have never played before, but within weeks they have a solid foundation to build their fundamentals. Our top athletes do travel at their own discretion, and we bring in some of Chicago's best women to truly prepare them for the speed they'll experience in college. The kicker is, you could play all 4 sessions and the total would be $3,200. Some families pay more than that for travel alone each year. Our focus is on the development, because all the travel in the world won't get an athlete recruited if they aren't a certain level, and we've had some girls recruited off of film that primarily shows footage from our courts. The TALENT of the athlete is what gets them recruited, so we put our focus on making sure we help our athletes be the best they can be. The Aspen Institute estimates that youth sports is a $30 billion dollar industry and rising . At the same time, nearly half of youth sports injuries are due to over-use. In our region, volleyball players that play both high school and club literally get no off-season for four years if they participate at nationals. So while revenue continues to go up, the numbers are tied to quantity of participation, not quality of programming. For those that are in a good situation, I would never encourage them to leave a good thing. There are certainly kids that are of a certain level which have found good coaches/teammates to surround themselves with. But many kids play for programs because of two reasons: 1) They join programs which do not prioritize them because they want to "keep up with the Joneses", and they've been led to believe club is the only option to success. Many join programs where the peers they are trying to catch get better coaching/development, which widens the gap further. 2) They haven't had a good experience at one program, so they go to another club thinking the issue was the original club - only to find out they're going to be put on the lower teams/given the same experience at the new program. The elephant in the room is, larger programs will not prioritize the development of their rawer athletes. Many of these athletes thrive when they're given the "1's team treatment" - but some never get to experience that. We've had so many parents and players tell us they learned more in weeks with us than they did years elsewhere. I don't say that to boast - I say that to express many parents and players can and should demand more from the programs they invest so much time and money to join. For those in the Chicagoland area, if you or someone you know loves the sport but hasn't had a good youth sports experience, we'd love to have them come in. Don't take my word on all of the above - we do one-time lessons for kids, and if they don't like, they don't have to come back. THEY try US out, vs. the other way around. If they're willing to give their best effort and be respectful of their peers, we're happy to have them. For those that coach, feel the way I feel, but feel 'stuck' where they're at, reach out. It isn't an easy path, but there ARE ways to provide an alternative option for young athletes. I'd love to help you find the best way to do it for your situation. For everyone else that's made it this far, I appreciate your support, I wish you well in your own endeavors, and I hope you'll continue to follow us as we build a youth sports model that truly prioritizes the physical and mental well-being of all its athletes. No kid held back, no kid left behind. The way youth sports should be.

Progress as an athlete isn't linear - and at some points adversity is unavoidable. How we respond to that adversity makes all the difference. Parents, I get it. You see how hard your kid works all year. You see how important it is for them to make their team. Maybe some of their friends made the team and they didn't, which can be very uncomfortable for all parties involved. If you read my blog directed at kids who didn't make the team , you know I was cut twice in high school. The time right after was pretty brutal - but that was truly a moment I needed to experience in order to eventually find my true potential. Burger King Drive-Thru, York road, a few minutes from my house. My dad was pushing me to put more time into my game in the off-season. I was pushing back in some form. He then told me if I didn't start working harder I'd be lucky to make the high school team. I cried my eyes out. I was immature and took it as him not believing in me. And then he let me choose my own path, and then I got cut twice. I know it wasn't easy for him to watch me go through it, but it was clear that the only way I was going to understand what I needed to do to be successful was to experience that failure. He made sure to let me know he was truly sorry it happened and he was always in my corner. That mattered. And from that point on, when I got a 2nd chance as an athlete in volleyball, I vowed to never give anything less than my best. I'm sure he wanted to drag me to the court to drill. But it was important for him to let me carve my own path. I have seen some parents on-line talk about the politics at play at their school - they feel their child should have made the team. Focusing on that is not beneficial to the athlete. The truth is, life will not always be fair. We cannot protect our children from that - but we can prepare them on how to move forward when it happens. That's the question to ask: "What are you going to do about it?" Because if they really want it, perhaps this is a time to get in the weight room, take lessons to work on their biggest areas of improvement, join an adult league/participate in open gyms, or find other methods to fine-tune their game that may be available in their area. One other thing to consider: I believe a lot of parents are frustrated because their child just played a full year of club, only to fall short at tryouts. If this happened, they may want to consider if there's a better organization for their child if they're not getting the proper development at their current one. It isn't always the case, but I think many programs focus on travel tournaments and power leagues, when the majority of the growth for up-and-coming players is done at practice (when practice is ran properly). I think parents can raise the bar on their expectations of some of these programs given the amount of time and money they're spending. To conclude, just keep reinforcing how much you care about them. I think kids put a lot of self-validation in their accomplishments vs. how hard they work. Let them know you'll always support them, give them a little time for things to settle down, and then evaluate different options for the next few months for them. Just because they aren't playing for the school doesn't mean they have to stop their journey. Years from now, they may feel not making the team was a blessing in disguise.

Getting cut twice in high school basketball was one of the toughest experiences in my life. Looking back on it, it was also the key to the success that followed years later. To The Ones That Didn't Make It, I know you're not feeling great right now. I was cut in high school basketball twice: It's one of the most emotionally painful memories I have from my childhood. But I wanted you to know: It gets better. And in some cases, this type of adversity is what's required to unleash the greatness in you. I know it was for me. Leading up to my own experience getting cut, I was a hard worker, but only when I had to be. I played my sport during season and didn't do much beyond that (I'm not even 40, but back when I was in high school, you didn't have to play travel ball to make teams - pretty crazy to think about nowadays!). I had worked really hard between freshmen and sophomore year, but I'll always wonder what could have been had I put that effort in during my junior high years. So when I got cut in basketball a 2nd time, I had a decision to make: Was I willing to put the time in to improve as needed to try making the team the following year, or did I want to focus my time and efforts elsewhere? I had made the varsity squad for volleyball my first two years in high school (my freshmen year was the first year they had a program, so it was much easier to make that team), and so I decided two things: 1) I would focus my efforts on volleyball 2) I was going to work in a manner that ensured I'd never wonder 'What if?' the same way I had to with basketball. That drive led me to a successful collegiate indoor career/adult beach career. It wasn't easy though. I played every Friday night while my friends went out and socialized. I was always arriving early to open gyms/leagues/tournaments to make sure I got a proper warm-up/stretching routine in. I had to change my diet and learn how to fuel my body before/during/after events. For the better part of 12 years, I outworked my opponents. And I lost a lot for years. But I focused on my improvement, and as long as I kept working, I continued to climb the ranks. I don't think my path was for everyone. I think there's nothing wrong with people that don't want a sport to be their primary focus. I work with athletes that felt bad for 'quitting' volleyball - but some of the most impressive human beings I've gotten to coach had the same passion for other things (other sports, music, acting, hobbies, etc.). If something else is lighting a fire in your soul, then put your effort into that! But for those that are currently on the outside looking in, that feel like they aren't ready to be done with volleyball, you've got a decision to make: Will you commit to the work? Will you put the work in on the court and refine your fundamentals? (Note to parents: Quality of development matters more than quantity of play. So make sure you're enrolling them in a program that actually prioritizing your child's individual growth. A good coach can guide a kid to their peak potential: Bad coaches will hold kids back as their peers continue to grow. Choose your training environment wisely!) Will you put the work in off the court? Will you lift to become a better athlete? Will you stretch/rehab to keep your muscles/joints healthy? Will you record and break down your mechanics? (This is one of the best tools for an up-and-coming athlete that gets under-utilized. Look at the mechanics of players whom you want to play like, look at yours, and see if there are things you can improve!) Will you cut out sugary/unhealthy foods? Will you get to bed at a reasonable hour vs. sitting on social media until the late hours of the night? I'm truly sorry you're dealing with getting cut. But you DO have choice. As Randy Pausch once said "Brick Walls are there for a reason: To prove how badly you want things" How bad do you want this? I've never met a truly hard worker that didn't eventually get to where they wanted to go. It takes some of us longer than others. But if this is what you want, go get it and be relentless in your process. I believe in you. I wish you luck regardless of what path you decide to embark on. Keep your head up, better days are ahead.

Ask yourselves: "Is my child playing for this organization, or is this organization coaching for my child?" Because if the answer isn't the latter, you may be better off looking for a healthier environment. Many players and parents are happy with their youth sports experience. They have a team they like and a coach that cares about them. Many high-level players have already received verbal offers from their club to return to the same team the following year. Those people don't need this piece. I have many athletes that have already verbally committed to their next season, and as they know their coaches/teammates, they're already looking forward to a scenario that they're familiar with. They are lucky and should absolutely take advantage of that. But for those that had dysfunctional teams, toxic coaches, or just a non-satisfactory experience, this is for you - especially if you're now feeling pressure about decisions for next season. Imagine going to a car dealership. Your salesperson goes over all the awards they've received and how great their cars are. You go back to their office, and they expect you to put a down payment down/commit to buying the car - and then later, you'll find out what car you actually got. It may be the car you hoped for - but there's a very good chance it won't be. Once you buy it, there is no refund, there is no turning back. But if you don't sign the contract, they leverage the idea that others want to buy cars, and by not signing you may be missing out on the car you originally hoped to obtain when you walked in the dealership. That would be crazy right? And yet, that's exactly what families are being asked to do right now with July tryouts. Many programs don't even have the amount of coaches that they'll need for the amount of kids they're signing. This will lead to coaches being hired months from now that are underqualified to actually teach the fundamentals/have the patience with athletes on how to work through adversity. There are also a lot of teams made up of 'extra' players. Many clubs nowadays will do anything to avoid cuts - not because they have the coaches/the pieces fit, but because their margins are based on quantity of athletes participating, not the quality of instruction. Many of the kids that need the most guidance get put in situations that provide the least. Yet, they're expected to pay the same amount and commit the same amount of time. Also, between high school and club volleyball runs year-round for athletes. Players hopped off the plane for nationals and right back in the gym. Professionals take off-seasons, but in our region, from 15-18, you pretty much are expected to play year-round. It causes mental burnout and physical injuries . 94% of high school athletes will not play in college. Think about that. Yet we put 16 out of 17 kids into these year-round expensive training situations, many which not only come with coaches that can't properly teach them the fundamentals, but also destroy their confidence. This isn't because it's good for your athlete. It's because an off-season for them means an off-season for checks being cut. It's because the people up top are approaching this like commissioners of professional sports. Not only that, the revenue is more than the NFL / NCAA - and rising. I am not anti-program, but I am absolutely pro-family. And I see so much more risk vs. reward for a parent to sign a contract for a situation they're neither excited nor certain about. Why do families have to commit their time and money to a program that can't even commit what's being paid for? The elephant in the room is, if your child is a certain talent, they play by different rules. Certain high-level athletes and their parents will get multiple calls from local club directors if word spreads that they may be looking for a different program. Truly elite athletes can say "I'm not ready to make that decision" and they'll be given all the time they need if the program feels it's in their best interests. Many big programs provide two very different experiences: The kids that are pivotal for success will be given all the bells and whistles to succeed: The ones that truly need development get some of the least guidance/flexibility. They're more disposable to the director. But let's be clear: This isn't what youth sports should be. Not every athlete will achieve the same success, but all athletes that commit the same time/money deserve the same opportunity for development. Parents, I recognize you want to give your kids every opportunity possible to succeed. I understand what the norms are right now for youth sports. But at some point, you need to recognize when outside parties do not have your best interests in mind. You have to recognize when the norm isn't normal. All I ask is that if your gut is telling you a situation is not good for your athlete, don't be afraid to have a talk with them about what youth sports should and shouldn't be about. Be firm on expecting a program to be able to tell you who your team/coach will be before signing a contract. If a program tries to bully you, perhaps that's a sign that they don't have your child's best interests in mind. But you do. So do your due diligence. You won't regret it. You have tough decisions in front of you, but if you're building your child's self-esteem at home, doing your research, and having the right conversations with the right directors, there is a better opportunity out there for you. I wish you luck!

Hello all, My social media has been flooded with reactions to what happened yesterday in Texas. After sleeping on it, I found myself wanting to talk to my athletes - as well as anyone else that may feel a lot of anger/hurt this morning. I don't hide it from my older athletes as much, and today I come clean to all my readers: I consider myself a pretty good volleyball coach. But what I'm really doing is teaching my kids life lessons. I want to help my athletes realize they can achieve their dreams through hard work. I want to teach them to do everything they do to the best of their ability. I want them to know they're still valid even when they don't perform at that level. I want them to learn how to work well with teams. On top of all that, I want to teach them how to deal with adversity - because life is going to throw a lot at them. That's why I don't get hung up on wins and losses. When we lose, that's an opportunity to figure out something we can do better. Was it strategy issues? What can we do differently next time to possibly achieve a better result? Did our fundamentals falter? If so, what do we need to do at our next practices to be better prepared for the next competition? Did we lose our heads? How can we make sure next time we don't self-inflict some of our issues? While many of my athletes will not play sports beyond high school, I certainly hope that these lessons will help them with their education, relationships, and careers. But today? There's no room for a head-fake. It's time to take volleyball out of the equation. Because it isn't important compared to other things we're dealing with as a society. And while I'd love to shield you from the realities of this world, that isn't realistic in 2022. I think a lot of people look at our country as two separate teams right now. But that's not accurate. We're all in this together. It's literally in the country's name: The United States of America. Isn't feeling too united this morning, is it? What I do feel is that our country is a very dysfunctional team. And that's not a judgment - it's just an observation. Power in our country is like playing time on a team. There's far more demand than supply, and some players are going to have to take a role that they may not like sometimes. One thing I stress to my athletes is that if they're ever frustrated with their role on a team, there's a right way and wrong way to handle it. "I feel I should be starting" or "I don't think is better than me" isn't going to get the response they're hoping for. But "What can I do to earn a bigger role on the team?" is a very fair question. And it's ultimately their best bet to get what they want. Because I have no issue telling a player what the other player is doing that has earned them their time on the court - and then it's up to them to put the work in to earn their own time. One thing that's been really hard to watch is how it's become normalized to just point fingers at each other. It's certainly a recipe for disaster on a youth sports team, and it's not going to be any better in society. Once the loss has occurred, destructive criticism isn't the solution. I think it's important to be able to take a step back and look for constructive solutions. What were some of the causes of this loss? What are some things we can put in place to make sure those same things can't keep happening? The thing is, there will always be losses. I think something that we simplify too much is, there will always be some people that do bad things. There will always be corruption. There will always be people that want to cause chaos, as well as those that crave power - and will step on anyone that tries to get in their way. There is no solution that changes that. But when tragedy strikes, what we can do is come together as a team and try to figure out the best way to move forward. How can we make it harder for these situations to happen? For my 2nd-amendment friends, I'm not suggesting taking guns away: But I do think there's an objective conversation to make it harder to obtain one for people that may not be capable of handling one responsibly. We do this with driver's licenses, weapons should be no different. It can't be guns vs. no guns. That's not a viable conversation. So the question is, what's the best procedures we can put in place to make it harder for incidents like this to occur? Whether we agree or not, that should be a unified goal with all those participating in the discussion, because the goal has to be to reduce these shootings. When we lose sight of that last sentence, that's when we're further divided. It's important not to let tragedy pull us apart. Some people absolutely want that for their own personal gain/power. We cannot let them create that narrative as we have for the last few years. One of the biggest issues I see is representatives of our country not acting like leaders. They're acting like players that are hell-bent to get their playing time regardless of whether or not it's in the best interests of the team. And so when losses occur, they are outspoken to their constituents on why it's the other players' fault, less concerned on how to get a better result the next game, but fully focused on making sure they get on the court vs. the 'other' players. It's dysfunctional on youth sports teams, and it's certainly dysfunctional in society. I don't come to you all with solutions. But I do come to you with a better method of finding them. Because for years, I've been watching us respond to losses in a manner that will only continue to have them pile up . When I coached Division I, one of the biggest challenges is you have 12-16 athletes that were all incredibly successful that come from unique circumstances. Some had coaches that cracked the whip, others had coaches that coddled them for fear they'd leave for another team. And now you have to get them all to buy into one mission statement/philosophy that may not align with what they've done up to this point. It isn't always easy, and egos need to be put to the side: But when done correctly, the results can be a beautiful thing. It is a lot harder when the team is 330 million deep, and you have people with a lot of reach to those people trying to divide us further. So when that happens, I hope this letter comes to mind. I hope you remember that you have a choice on how you respond. I hope you can focus less on who's to blame and more on solutions on how to move forward. Because that's how we make this conversation occur less and less. Real leadership comes from accountability, action, and implementation. And we can do better as a team. I will share with you the cardinal rule I learned on the debate team at the age of 15 that has stayed with me all these years: You don't attack the person, you attack the argument. I think we all can be better teammates. And I hope no matter what others do, you don't let their actions of others affect your ability to focus on the arguments instead of who is making them. Real progress requires that of us. I love you all. We're all in this together, let's be better teammates.