By Bryan McDermand
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July 19, 2024
Let me tell you a story from my 20-year high school reunion - I promise it's relevant, I'll get right to the reason why as soon as I finish. I ran into a female classmate that I hadn't seen since we left. We had spent 12 years of schooling together, and she was the athlete of my class. She was good at every sport she played, was a hard worker, and incredibly nice to everyone on top of that. If you asked her, she would have told you I was more mathlete than athlete. 5'5", 95 pounds, size 12 shoe going into high school. People looked at me to help them with their upcoming quiz, not as a strong teammate on the field or court. Something we didn't realize was we had the same teacher as our coach at high school - they coached her in basketball and me in volleyball. And that night, we shared all the horror stories of how he treated us - the name-calling, bullying, destroying of our confidence even though years later we realized he had no background in either sport and had no validation in the things he made us feel about ourselves. Both of us walked away from youth sports feeling pretty down about ourselves. 18 months after graduating high school, and I got lucky enough to have volleyball come back into my life, along with a mentor that began to show me what I could be vs. what I wasn't. That translated into a collegiate playing career, coaching career, semi-pro beach career, with a peak of winning the Midwest Beach Championships 10 years after thinking I'd never play again. It's taken me to 39 states and twice across international lines. It introduced me to my soulmate and many of the people that will populate our wedding one day. And I almost missed out on all of it because I had a coach that didn't know what I needed. Sadly, I learned that the coach destroyed Erin's love for the game and she never played again. And she regained her confidence, is happily married with a beautiful family, and she's still a badass athlete, so she's doing OK. But I can't help but wonder how many youth sports athletes leave their sport feeling worse about who they are because of coaches like ours? I'm not telling you every coach is as toxic as ours. I am telling you the only requirement to be a club coach nowadays is to take a 3-hour certification that is mostly about liability. I'm telling you many programs will not be able to tell you who your coach will be not because they're "still figuring out who's coaching who", but because they're taking more checks than they have coaches. You'll see many of the programs that have been promoting their tryouts since May begin to talk about how they're looking for coaches in September-November. And to me, that is incredibly backwards - especially given what they're demanding you commit before high school tryouts take place. I know there are not many programs that can guarantee you what you're signing. I do believe most programs will take those same kids in November, and I believe if they don't, then you probably dodged a bullet, and that bullet comes in the form of a poor developmental experience. Youth sports is a 37 billion dollar a year and rising industry. Parents - you are not the customer, you are the product. And I say that simply because I see how many of you are sacrificing so much time and money, and how much of your kid's childhood is being spent in these gyms, and I believe if you're paying a premium price, you deserve a premium service. And so many of you are getting an experience much lesser than what's being advertised. If a program expects you to sign/do a down payment in July, they should be able to commit the quality of coach you'll receive. You should be able at minimum to narrow it down to 2-3 coaches, and they should be able to give you an overview of their background (Frankly, I think programs should be trying out for families vs. the other way around. In our program, families experience a one-time practice, parents watch, and if they like the quality of instruction, they're welcome to join our program. One of the many perks to beach doubles/not needing specific positional players). Too often we look at the success of the top teams of programs when discussing what makes a program "elite". Respectfully, I think that speaks more to a program's marketing/recruitment than their quality of instruction. An elite program is one that gives a similar opportunity for growth for their non 1's teams. I think of Strive in Maryland (A non-profit that has 3 coaches for each team! Special shout-out to Jenn and John), Gaston Galaxy in NC, Iowa Select in Iowa, The Edge and Aggression in Illinois, just to name a few. Tournaments shouldn't be the bar, but the measuring stick - and the focus shouldn't just be on fielding the best teams, it should be about developing the kids we have. Too many kids are leaving club with over-trained bodies, burnt out minds, and insecurity about their skills. This is your moment to demand more. Once that contract is signed/check clears, there's no turning back, so choose wisely! To conclude, I wish you luck this weekend as you look for a program. I hope you demand the same amount of commitment from your program that they're asking of you. I hope you have faith in the idea that you will not fall behind if you do not accept a contract in July because you cannot get transparency on what that contract provides. And I hope you settle for nothing less than a program that coaches for your kids, vs. your kids playing for them. There are always ways to stay in the sport outside the norm - sometimes, the best lesson youth sports teaches in 2024 is to take the road less traveled if the common path is not giving you the same opportunity as the peers you're trying to catch. Progression Volleyball runs 10-week sessions throughout the year / offers "Try-Us-Outs" for families that would like to evaluate our staff before making a commitment. We work with 11 and up athletes of all ages and levels. For those in the Chicagoland area, Fall Information can be found here and Winter Information can be found here .
